man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
