They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
