alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize