I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
