I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
