I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
