she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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