When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
