I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
