im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
