fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
