if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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