i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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