I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize