there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
