Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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