Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
