Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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