She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
