The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize