That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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