so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
