she looked like the before picture.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
