I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
