I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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