one might say we're banned from that church
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
