i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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