Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Come back. Shots need mouths.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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