So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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