How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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