I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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