Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
