we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize