It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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