From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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