Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
