I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
