i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
