I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
