Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
