I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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