i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
