Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
