I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
