Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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