I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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