do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
