I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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