Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i love accidental penises.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I came so hard my ears popped.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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