he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
