Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
