All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
