I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
