Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
