we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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