how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
