I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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