Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
