He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
